The wordsmithing Brits behind the Oxford Dictionary define “hate” as “hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice.” But words take on new meanings as people speak them, often deriving more from the context of their usage than from their actual definitions.

The word “hate” has become one of many such grammatical casualties as some now use it to describe the positions of any who vary from emerging cultural norms. 

Among offenders are gay activists who increasingly define anyone who believes that marriage should be applied only in the context of monogamous, heterosexual union as anti-gay and hateful. But is a belief in traditional marriage an inherently hateful posture?

Continue reading . . . 

Great response from a great thinker and speaker!

On Thursday, Ted & Gayle Haggard made their anticipated appearance on Oprah.  I watched and processed with mixed emotions.  I was planning write my viewpoints on the interview until someone sent me an excellent overview by Joe Dallas (one of my favorite speakers and teachers).  I don’t want to reinvent the wheel so here is what Joe had so say:

Ted Said: AfterThoughts on Ted Haggard’s Interview with Oprah

Guest Post by Joe Dallas

Rev. Ted Haggard broke his two year silence on Oprah’s show yesterday, his first media appearance since a catastrophic fall from the pulpit of New Life Church in 2006, when his longstanding relationship with a male prostitute was exposed. The details are still fresh: Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals, was condemning gay sex publicly while paying for it privately, until accusations from male escort Mike Jones cracked the dam of Ted’s denials (“I neverhad gay sex!”) and trickles of half-concessions leaked out (“Well, yeah, I bought some meth from a gay escort, but threw it away”) followed by voice mail recordings irrefutable as Monica’s blue dress, and the inevitable confession, contrition and exit. It was as tawdry as it was achingly familiar in this era of public falls, and many of us hoped the story was played out.

Enter the sequel. An HBO special titled The Trials of Ted Haggard premieres Thursday January 29, and by way of promotion, Ted granted interviews to Larry King as well as Oprah, revisiting those dark days with his own insights and explanations. If there’s a redemptive twist to all this, it lies in what can be gleaned from the Reverend’s experience and, to an extent, his statements about Christianity, homosexuality, church life and human nature. A typical spectator, I cheered and booed throughout the Oprah interview, shouting criticisms or praise while knowing nothing of what it was like for the man under the bright lights being grilled about his worst failures and private agonies. So I’ll concede, a la Roosevelt’s famous observation about the man in the arena, that it is indeed the guy in the ring whose performance matters far and above the critic who wishes he’d done this or said that.

From that deferential position, then, let me offer some thoughts on what Ted said, what I wish he’d said, and what still needs to be said:

Ted said: “I’m a heterosexual with homosexual attachments.”
What prompted it: Oprah’s predictable but relevant question: Are you gay, straight, or bisexual? (read more)

Alexandra Pelosi, daughter of U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, has recently directed “The Trials of Ted Haggard” set to air on HBO January 29th. This is not just a media montage of the 2006 scandal involving Mike Jones but a reality-based documentary in which Ted and Gayle Haggard are active participants. According to recent news releases, Haggard states in the film that he experienced same-sex play in the second grade and currently continues to struggle with same-sex attraction. He also states that it was therapists and not the church that helped him to understand his sexuality.

Already the media is slanting the story to their various perspectives. Fox News reports that Haggard talks about a lifelong battle with his sexuality and that “he never claimed to be heterosexual.” However, The Gazette of Colorado Springs brings clarity and context to the statement when they report that after Haggard quit the restoration program, a pastor friend was the one that declared that Haggard was “completely heterosexual.” The truth is that Haggard was attempting to clarify his friend’s statement. Unfortunately once again, facts have been obscured or omitted in order to promote a preferred perspective.

The general review by Mark Bama of The Gazette depicts Ted Haggard as indulging in self-loathing, self-aggrandizement, and self-pity. It also reveals Haggard’s bitterness and resentment towards New Life Church epitomized in his statements “The church has chose not to forgive me” and “The church has said go to hell.”

For me personally, this documentary is already raising more questions than answers. I do not know the details surrounding Haggard’s personal experience during the scandal and the restoration process. I can only imagine the intense pain and suffering that he has experienced as a result of his choices. However, I do know the torment of hiding the truth of his condition and the fear of revealing his struggle to those within the church. I lived the façade of pretending to be someone I wasn’t because that’s what I thought I had to do in order to be accepted and loved. It was self-inflicted solitary confinement with no hope for release. For many, this fear is legitimate and they must live a life of denial in order to survive in their church culture. I hear too many stories like this and it truly grieves me. The homophobic ignorance of some leaders within the Body of Christ can contribute to the destructive demise of men and women and their families. It is on this point that I agree with the gay community; the church must be willing to lovingly embrace the homosexual and extend the love of Christ to all.

However, I have to ask if this is truly the situation that Ted Haggard faced? Was there truly no one in New Life Church that was willing to stand with him in his restoration process? (I find this unlikely.) Were the leaders on his restoration council able to devote the time and effort required to see him completely through? I don’t doubt that people have rejected and abandoned him and to some extent allowed him to serve as a scapegoat representing the failure of evangelical leaders past. Perhaps much of this loss of relationship is due to the feeling of betrayal and loss rather than contempt for Haggard’s actions. So many have been impacted by Haggard’s homosexuality and the resulting casualties are overwhelming. The aftershock of this event continues to be felt to this day.

But can Haggard really justify the means he is using to voice his pain and objections? Can we expect Alexandra Pelosi to present a fair, unbiased, and redemptive perspective on this issue of Ted Haggard and his homosexuality?

I have my doubts.

I must confess that I’m frustrated that he is just now, after two years, openly confessing his ongoing struggle with same-sex attraction which has been an issue throughout his life. When asked why he didn’t come out about his sexuality, his response was “My responsibility was to get worked out.” What kind of culture have we created that says our leaders must be perceived as having it all together and beyond such carnal baseness? If only Haggard would have risked being honest when it was most critical. What an incredible opportunity to be one of the most influential evangelical leaders in the world serving as a model of transparency and vulnerability. This could have been an outstanding message of hope to so many impacted by homosexuality! But instead those who struggle within the church have to face the question; “If Ted Haggard can’t overcome this, what hope is there for me?”

My greatest concern is that the church won’t know how to answer.

The Body of Christ must own this situation and accept responsibility for all who are impacted, including Ted Haggard. We have created a culture where “celebrity” leaders are placed on pedestals and expected to be absolved of the messiness of humanity and its fallen nature. We provide the venue, set the stage, and then serve as brutal critics of the actors who have the audacity to answer the casting call.

I can’t come to a fully educated conclusion on this situation until everything has played out. I can only hope that Haggard will not use this as a means to retaliate and bring further damage to the Body of Christ. The fact that it does not appear that his leaders were involved in his decision to participate in this venture is not very encouraging. Regardless of the outcome, the church must let this serve as another reminder that we must redemptively respond to this issue of homosexuality that is so sharply dividing our society.

The Colorado Springs Gazette

Fox News