The Absolutists of Change

Here is a recent article I wrote for the Exodus International Blog:

Change is an unavoidable and necessary part of life.  Sometimes it may involve the smallest adjustment in our day and other times it might involve a radical transformation.  Some people like change and others will do everything in their power to avoid it (and often these two types are married to each other).  As it relates to sexual orientation, the term “change” has often been a point of confusion.  But does it have to be?  Is the problem that there are those who insist that change be defined as an absolute and unconditional concept?  I believe so.  The question we must ask is,

“For change to be authentic, must it be absolute?”

Our current culture has become very ambiguous when it talks about sexual orientation.  Is it fixed or fluid?  It depends on whom you ask.  One cultural icon claims that we are “Born This Way”.  But another celebrity announces they have left their same-sex partner to enter into a heterosexual marriage.  Those who are challenged by this revelation will scurry to clarify that the person was actually bi-sexual all along.  Yet, the concept of change is never acknowledged.  When it comes to sexual orientation, our culture can perceive “change” as a betrayal or rejection of who they believe we truly are.

Change is the act of making or becoming different.  People change in various ways every day.  However, we must know those changes may not be absolute or complete.  Does this mean they haven’t changed?  Of course not.  We recognize and applaud the incremental stages of transformation in people’s lives and understand that some changes may never be fully realized this side of heaven.  I may recognize that I need to change when it comes to pride in my life and that will be a process.  However, I know I will never fully eradicate pride in this lifetime.  Am I still defined as a prideful man or am I a man who wrestles with pride realizing that I must depend on God’s grace each day to walk in humility?  After years of allowing the Lord to transform my heart and learn newer levels of humility, am I to discount God’s work in my life simply because pride rears it’s ugly head from time to time?  God forbid.

When we claim that God has done a transformational work in our lives regarding homosexuality, this does not necessarily mean the elimination or even the diminishing of same-sex attractions.  If sexual orientation is the dominant direction of sexual attractions, can that “dominant” direction change?  For some people, yes.  For others, this may not be the case; they may still have varying degrees of same-sex attraction.  But does this mean they haven’t experienced change?  If you answer yes, then I wonder if change is possible in any area of life. . . .

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